Monday September 21, 2009

It is with a heavy heart that I am writing to you tonight. My very dearest friend, Lenette took her final breath at 2:00 p.m. today. I wish I had different news tonight. I wish I could say that God answered our prayers the way we wanted. I wish I could say that that multi-organ transplant has been scheduled. Instead, in His ultimate wisdom, God had a different plan.

When I would get impatient with answers to prayers that I sent up daily, sometimes hourly, Len would remind me to trust and wait. I have never been good at that. Trust and wait?? I am the person at the stoplight with one foot on the accelerator and the other foot on the brake. I am that person who "wrestles with God" over stuff...and I do mean over and over. But Len would always tell me to be patient...just wait. And wait she did. With grace and diginity she fought while she waited. She planned and hoped and prayed while she waited. And tonight she doesn't have to wait any longer.

I talked with Lenette's Pastor, Elaina, about how my mind knows that Lenette is no longer in pain. And that in itself is something to be thankful for. But yet I cry. I cry not for Lenette. But for me. Selfish old me. Because my heart hurts with the knowledge that my buddy is no longer here with us. But she has left a lasting impression on us all, hasn't she?

So again I say thank you on Lenette's behalf for the prayers and cards and meals and flowers and visits. And thank you for touching my life as we have loved our friend Lenette.
In a few days we will celebrate Lenette's life in the way she had planned: with laughter, food, hugs, memories, and time spent together. She and I always told our kids "no do overs- so make the best of it the first time." Lenette certainly did that. She lived her best life possible everyday.

So maybe we will meet in a few days and share a story about Lenette. And if you cannot be there, please have a laugh on her. And hug your kids and call your best friend and tell her how much you love her....no do overs.

Melodee

Sunday September 20

Well, I am writing --very reluctantly-- for my friend Lenette because she is unable to this evening. She has had a rough couple of days.
She is resting fairly comfortably tonight and is surrounded by her family. Her kidneys are shutting down and her oxygen levels are very low. I am afraid that the transplant that she had prayed for and hoped for may not be a possibility any longer. Cody, David and I, along with Pastor Elaina and our dear friend, David Stocker had a very serious and painful conversation this afternoon. After having spoken with the nurse who has cared for Len all day, the boys and I agreed that Lenette is at a crossroads in which she may need to be made comfortable and that it may be time to let go. I honestly never thought I would have to carry out the wishes that she expressed to me. I sincerely thought she would have the transplants, go on to finish her book, and rock her grandbabies.
I am still praying for a miracle, trust me! And I am praying for peace for Lenette and her 3 boys all of whom will stay with her tonight.
Please try to not call or text them. They are trying to spend time with their Mom and soak it all in. I told them how proud I am of all of them...as I know you all are too.
As they have needs, they will let us know. Until then, please respect their time with Lenette and let's all give thanks tonight for the love and laughs she brought to our lives.

When I know anything more, I will let you know.
Thank you for your prayers and love,
Sleep well, Lenette.
Melodee

Tests Finished

I finished all of the tests yesterday! What a relief! It was a long and tiring day. I know the prayers you said on my behalf gave me strength. Thank you!
We may have a decision as soon as next week about the transplant. Let's just keep praying for a spot on that list!
I am having lots of trouble getting my breath this weekend plus I am on heavy pain meds, so please don't worry about calling me. I need to rest and will not be at my best for carrying on a conversation. Just because I don't answer my phone does not mean anything is wrong! It means I am taking care of myself and getting the rest I need.
The nurses here in oncoclogy at Ball know exactly what I need so just pray and think about me for now. We will let you know when there are any changes.
Cody is fine too so just check the blog for updates. S.O.S. girls..we will call you when we are ready for help again. He does not need calls and texts constantly so let us tell you what we need. Remember...no news is good news!
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!
Love,
Lenette

Final test Scheduled!

Finally the day I have been waiting for is arriving!! The last tests at IU Med have been scheduled for this Friday. Registration is at 7:30 a.m. At 8:00 I will have a pulmonary function test. My 9:40 appointment is with Dr.Lacerda, a Gastroenterologist/Hepatologist. At 11:00 I see Dr. Krause, the Transplant Pyschologist. And the 1:30 appointment is with the Transplant Surgeon and Coordinator. Blood work will be done after this last appointment. This is a lot of testing and activity in one day, to be sure. But the good news is that I am still in Ball and will be going to Indy from here and then returning to Ball that day. So I will have lots of help getting ready that morning and then can rest when I get back!
Please pray that I will have the stamina I need to make it through this busy day. I am ready for these tests to be over so I can get on the waiting list!

Cody and I appreciate all the calls and texts. Please know that if something big happens you will know! These days I have really tried to benefit from the down time and care that I am getting here in Oncology. My breathing is limited so sometimes I am unable to talk. Plus I am taking advantage of pain meds while I am here, so my conversation skills may not be at their best! I am not ignoring you. I am just trying to save my energy for the tests on Friday. Remember...no news is good news. Remember we will update the blog to keep you posted.

Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers. What would I do without all of you?
Love, Lenette

Sunday September 13

Still at Ball Hospital. I will probably be here a couple more days. Additional testing for transplant may occur on September 18 depending on what type of tests are being done. We will know more by Tuesday or Wednesday of this week.

I am very weak and have lost a lot of muscle so I am working with rehab to rebuild my strength.
The surgeon put a stitch and durabond on the wound from the cardiac catheterization. We are hoping that will stop the fluids from seeping. As I have tried to lie still, the bedsores and raw skin have given me much pain. Actually LOTS of pain! I can't describe how much they bother me. But I know I need to give the wound time to seal and I need to be up soon and build my strength...feels like a vicious circle!

Thanks for your prayers. Please pray that God will guide me through this next painful passage. I still struggle when I have to take a lot of pain meds because I don't want to be sleepy. But I know that if I stay ahead of the pain I will be more comfortable.

Your support continues to give me strength. I know I could not do this without all of you!
With Love,
Lenette

Another Holiday in the Hospital

Thanksgiving, July 4th and now Labor Day...but it feels so good to be here being taken care of. Nurses are changing my dressings, I'm getting pain meds when I need them and I'm getting plenty of sleep. What a great feeling after the hectic pace of last week.
I'm so glad to be in the hospital where I can go to sleep and let others worry about my health. I feel so relieved and peaceful. Last week I was at my wits end, but this weekend, I feel so much better. I'll be in the hospital at least through the weekend and then I'm not sure how much longer. I'm in no hurry to leave because then I'm on my own and it's a full-time job just taking care of myself.
Thanks to all of you for the prayers, flowers, warm thoughts, calls and visits. Love to all of you.

Another Holiday in the Hospital

We LOOOOOVE the Oncology Unit

There's no place like home! Or in this case, my home away from home - the Oncology Unit at Ball Hospital. It may not be fancy like the new south tower, with private rooms and flat screen TV's, but the nurses all know you and welcome you back, they take the BEST care and for me, and many other cancer patients, they are warm and calming and loving and all the best things you want in a caregiver.
I asked to get admitted to the hospital on Monday morning. I was overwhelmed with all I was having to deal with and I just could not manage anymore. We are still trying to get the opening from the cardiac catheter to close up. Because I have so much fluid in me, the fluid just runs down my leg, getting everything wet. Even here, we are changing the bandage every 3 hours and it has soaked through. Aside from that there are other challenges I am facing right now and the hospital is where I need to be. I cannot tell you how much more comfortable I am when I'm here.
What do I need? Prayers, of course. Your love continues to sustain me.