Monday September 21, 2009

It is with a heavy heart that I am writing to you tonight. My very dearest friend, Lenette took her final breath at 2:00 p.m. today. I wish I had different news tonight. I wish I could say that God answered our prayers the way we wanted. I wish I could say that that multi-organ transplant has been scheduled. Instead, in His ultimate wisdom, God had a different plan.

When I would get impatient with answers to prayers that I sent up daily, sometimes hourly, Len would remind me to trust and wait. I have never been good at that. Trust and wait?? I am the person at the stoplight with one foot on the accelerator and the other foot on the brake. I am that person who "wrestles with God" over stuff...and I do mean over and over. But Len would always tell me to be patient...just wait. And wait she did. With grace and diginity she fought while she waited. She planned and hoped and prayed while she waited. And tonight she doesn't have to wait any longer.

I talked with Lenette's Pastor, Elaina, about how my mind knows that Lenette is no longer in pain. And that in itself is something to be thankful for. But yet I cry. I cry not for Lenette. But for me. Selfish old me. Because my heart hurts with the knowledge that my buddy is no longer here with us. But she has left a lasting impression on us all, hasn't she?

So again I say thank you on Lenette's behalf for the prayers and cards and meals and flowers and visits. And thank you for touching my life as we have loved our friend Lenette.
In a few days we will celebrate Lenette's life in the way she had planned: with laughter, food, hugs, memories, and time spent together. She and I always told our kids "no do overs- so make the best of it the first time." Lenette certainly did that. She lived her best life possible everyday.

So maybe we will meet in a few days and share a story about Lenette. And if you cannot be there, please have a laugh on her. And hug your kids and call your best friend and tell her how much you love her....no do overs.

Melodee

Sunday September 20

Well, I am writing --very reluctantly-- for my friend Lenette because she is unable to this evening. She has had a rough couple of days.
She is resting fairly comfortably tonight and is surrounded by her family. Her kidneys are shutting down and her oxygen levels are very low. I am afraid that the transplant that she had prayed for and hoped for may not be a possibility any longer. Cody, David and I, along with Pastor Elaina and our dear friend, David Stocker had a very serious and painful conversation this afternoon. After having spoken with the nurse who has cared for Len all day, the boys and I agreed that Lenette is at a crossroads in which she may need to be made comfortable and that it may be time to let go. I honestly never thought I would have to carry out the wishes that she expressed to me. I sincerely thought she would have the transplants, go on to finish her book, and rock her grandbabies.
I am still praying for a miracle, trust me! And I am praying for peace for Lenette and her 3 boys all of whom will stay with her tonight.
Please try to not call or text them. They are trying to spend time with their Mom and soak it all in. I told them how proud I am of all of them...as I know you all are too.
As they have needs, they will let us know. Until then, please respect their time with Lenette and let's all give thanks tonight for the love and laughs she brought to our lives.

When I know anything more, I will let you know.
Thank you for your prayers and love,
Sleep well, Lenette.
Melodee

Tests Finished

I finished all of the tests yesterday! What a relief! It was a long and tiring day. I know the prayers you said on my behalf gave me strength. Thank you!
We may have a decision as soon as next week about the transplant. Let's just keep praying for a spot on that list!
I am having lots of trouble getting my breath this weekend plus I am on heavy pain meds, so please don't worry about calling me. I need to rest and will not be at my best for carrying on a conversation. Just because I don't answer my phone does not mean anything is wrong! It means I am taking care of myself and getting the rest I need.
The nurses here in oncoclogy at Ball know exactly what I need so just pray and think about me for now. We will let you know when there are any changes.
Cody is fine too so just check the blog for updates. S.O.S. girls..we will call you when we are ready for help again. He does not need calls and texts constantly so let us tell you what we need. Remember...no news is good news!
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!
Love,
Lenette

Final test Scheduled!

Finally the day I have been waiting for is arriving!! The last tests at IU Med have been scheduled for this Friday. Registration is at 7:30 a.m. At 8:00 I will have a pulmonary function test. My 9:40 appointment is with Dr.Lacerda, a Gastroenterologist/Hepatologist. At 11:00 I see Dr. Krause, the Transplant Pyschologist. And the 1:30 appointment is with the Transplant Surgeon and Coordinator. Blood work will be done after this last appointment. This is a lot of testing and activity in one day, to be sure. But the good news is that I am still in Ball and will be going to Indy from here and then returning to Ball that day. So I will have lots of help getting ready that morning and then can rest when I get back!
Please pray that I will have the stamina I need to make it through this busy day. I am ready for these tests to be over so I can get on the waiting list!

Cody and I appreciate all the calls and texts. Please know that if something big happens you will know! These days I have really tried to benefit from the down time and care that I am getting here in Oncology. My breathing is limited so sometimes I am unable to talk. Plus I am taking advantage of pain meds while I am here, so my conversation skills may not be at their best! I am not ignoring you. I am just trying to save my energy for the tests on Friday. Remember...no news is good news. Remember we will update the blog to keep you posted.

Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers. What would I do without all of you?
Love, Lenette

Sunday September 13

Still at Ball Hospital. I will probably be here a couple more days. Additional testing for transplant may occur on September 18 depending on what type of tests are being done. We will know more by Tuesday or Wednesday of this week.

I am very weak and have lost a lot of muscle so I am working with rehab to rebuild my strength.
The surgeon put a stitch and durabond on the wound from the cardiac catheterization. We are hoping that will stop the fluids from seeping. As I have tried to lie still, the bedsores and raw skin have given me much pain. Actually LOTS of pain! I can't describe how much they bother me. But I know I need to give the wound time to seal and I need to be up soon and build my strength...feels like a vicious circle!

Thanks for your prayers. Please pray that God will guide me through this next painful passage. I still struggle when I have to take a lot of pain meds because I don't want to be sleepy. But I know that if I stay ahead of the pain I will be more comfortable.

Your support continues to give me strength. I know I could not do this without all of you!
With Love,
Lenette

Another Holiday in the Hospital

Thanksgiving, July 4th and now Labor Day...but it feels so good to be here being taken care of. Nurses are changing my dressings, I'm getting pain meds when I need them and I'm getting plenty of sleep. What a great feeling after the hectic pace of last week.
I'm so glad to be in the hospital where I can go to sleep and let others worry about my health. I feel so relieved and peaceful. Last week I was at my wits end, but this weekend, I feel so much better. I'll be in the hospital at least through the weekend and then I'm not sure how much longer. I'm in no hurry to leave because then I'm on my own and it's a full-time job just taking care of myself.
Thanks to all of you for the prayers, flowers, warm thoughts, calls and visits. Love to all of you.

Another Holiday in the Hospital

We LOOOOOVE the Oncology Unit

There's no place like home! Or in this case, my home away from home - the Oncology Unit at Ball Hospital. It may not be fancy like the new south tower, with private rooms and flat screen TV's, but the nurses all know you and welcome you back, they take the BEST care and for me, and many other cancer patients, they are warm and calming and loving and all the best things you want in a caregiver.
I asked to get admitted to the hospital on Monday morning. I was overwhelmed with all I was having to deal with and I just could not manage anymore. We are still trying to get the opening from the cardiac catheter to close up. Because I have so much fluid in me, the fluid just runs down my leg, getting everything wet. Even here, we are changing the bandage every 3 hours and it has soaked through. Aside from that there are other challenges I am facing right now and the hospital is where I need to be. I cannot tell you how much more comfortable I am when I'm here.
What do I need? Prayers, of course. Your love continues to sustain me.

Sunday, 8/30/09

My Mom turns 81 tomorrow so we celebrated her birthday today. She loved opening those cards that play music. My sister in law got her a couple and she laughed and laughed. Still love to see her laugh! Applebee's is her favorite restaurant so we all went there. Yes, i went, but I sure was apprehensive. I thought maybe it would do me good to get out and yes, I guess it did. And no, my appetite has not diminished at all.

I have really been struggling this week. On Tuesday, Mary took me to IU Med Center for a cardiac catheterization. They ran a wire up my groin and then there's a hole left there. You have to keep it dry and clean so that it doesn't get infected. Well, since my belly is full of fluid, my hole pours out water. By the time i get the bandage attached, it's soaked -- even if I put a washcloth in, it's wringing wet before I even get my pants up. Not sure what to do

Also, I took off the bandage from the fluid drain (periocentisis), done the previous Friday and there were 2 blood spots. I changed the bandage 3 times today and each time, they were covered in blood. I will be contacting my doctor tomorrow to see what else I can do. I am out of solutions right now.

The meals and visits have been very much appreciated. Thank you to all of you.

Love, Lenette

p.s. Please keep those prayers coming. Ask God to help dry up this wound; that would help a lot of things right now.

Wed / Thursday

I have a nurse again for a couple of days until this wound heals (it's really just a hole; I just don't want an infection and I HAVE MY SHOWER GIRL BACK FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS!!! YEAH!!
Even though I've had a lot of friends come by to visit or bring meals, it's been a hard couple of days. It takes me soooooooooo long to do things and I'm tired all the time and it feels like I just can't keep up even with an army of friends helping. It's probably just a bad couple of days. I'm sure I'll feel better when my strength gets up again. DON'T worry about me...I just need to vent every now and then!

Tuesday, 8/25/09

Went to Methodist (indy) Hospital today to have a cardiac catheterization as part of the testing for the transplant. I was under anesthesia in a twilight sleep and the procedure went well. It lasted about an hour and then there was a two hour recovery period to make sure I could walk and not get dizzy. They scared Mary with possibilities of "what ifs" for the trip home. None of those things happened and we were back in Muncie by 4:oo.

I have one more day of tests. I am waiting for that to be scheduled. The good news is that I am over half way finished with this series of tests!

Thank you all for praying and for thinking of me. I know I am not alone in this walk.

With Love,
Lenette

Monday, August 24, 2009

It was another really busy week last week. Over the weekend, I was admitted to Ball Hospital (Muncie) because I couldn't speak clearly, could not find my words and would fall asleep before the end of the sentence. It turned out to be a combination between infection (not sure where I got that) and my amonia levels were too high. This is often seen in people whose liver is shot, like mine...we just had never seen it in me before so didn't know what we were looking at. They finally were able to narrow down the diagnosis on Tuesday afternoon and I was discharged on Wednesday about 4 p.m.
On Tuesday, I went down to IU Med Center (indy) to begin tests to see if they are able to do the transplant or not. On Thursday, we went for follow up testing and they took 20 vials of blood during the blood draw. Talk about being sucked dry!!
Tomorrow Mary Foster is taking me back down to Indy for a heart catheterization. Sounds a little scarey to me so say a prayer that everything goes well. If the doctor decides to operate on "something or other" during the procedure (I don't have the sheet in front of me, I will have to spend the night...and I DON'T want to spend the night. AT ALL. So please also pray that I get to come home tomorrow with Mary. On the way home, we plan to stop at David's and see his apartment.
Tommy was in this past weekend for the Freeman family reunion. I got to see him briefly Friday night, but we were both tired, so we both fell asleep in front of the TV.
Cody won a scholarship portion yesterday. He will attend a leadership conference at Washington University in St. Louis. It is hosted at the conference and they stay at the Crowne Plaza and he'll be with hundreds of others from across the county. There were 6 kids selected from Delaware County (8 school districts) who will attend, all expenses paid.
As you can tell, I'm not as regular at updating the blog. I'll try to get better, but a lot depends on what appointments I have for that week.
I got to stay in Oncology

Wednesday

I'm officially discharged from Ball Memorial Hospital today. Dr. Adrian thinks I had a combination infection and something like a metabolic encephalopoly caused by my liver condition. I will return to Ball on Friday to have the fluid drained again. Feel free to call my home, my cell or let me know if you want to stop by (so I'm not gone.) Tranks, again, for all of your prayers.

Update on Lenette

Lenette asked me to give everyone an update as to what has been happening the last few days. Late in the day on Saturday, the 15th, Cody and I took Lenette to the hospital. She had been experiencing some confusion and had a difficult time making her words connect to her thoughts. I spoke with Dr. Adrian a couple of times and the decision was made that she would be best cared for at Ball Memorial Hospital. She was admitted early Sunday morning. They are still not positive as to what brought all this on and are continuing to run tests. She spent one night in PCU (Progressive Care Unit) where she was monitored closely for the night. She was transferred to Oncology on Monday. Dr. Adrian thinks she may have an infection but is still unsure at this time.
Meanwhile, she found out that her long-anticipated appointment to begin the tests at IU Med. for possible transplant surgery, had been scheduled for today and tomorrow. Dr. Adrian was very reluctant to release her, but after much discussion, he let her go. But she only went to Indy for tests today and then had to be back at Ball for more monitoring. She is scheduled to return to Indianapolis on Thursday for tests and then will hopefully complete the final tests next Tuesday.
It is not known at this time as to how long she will remain at Ball. She may go home as early as Wednesday or may stay longer. This all depends on what Dr. Adrian determines was the cause of her disorientation, etc. last week.
I visited with her tonight after she and Cody had returned from their very long day in Indy. She was very tired, but still hopeful as to God's plan for her.
She wanted me to thank all of you for your continued prayers and kind thoughts. She and I talked tonight about the awesome possibility of this procedure. She remains hopeful and determined to beat this cancer.
Please feel free to call her or come see her. She can use all the energy from all of us that she can get!

Melodee

Saturday Update - August 8th, 2009

sorry for the delay. My computer has been down for over a week - actually, operator error. But now that I'm back, there's a lot to update. Most importantly, I called IU on Thursday to see if they had scheduled any of the tests. I left a message with the doctor's assistant, but I still didn't hear on Friday. About 10:30 p.m., Cody brought in the mail and I read through the following paragraph:

"With respect to Mrs. Freeman's case, Rodrigo Vianna runs the multi-visceral transplant program at IU. He saw her the same day and we reviewed her films. We both think that we should move forward with evaluation and transplant her if at all possible. She is quite sturdy from a cardiopulmonary standpoint, so with luck the process will go quickly."

"We are coming in a bit late in the course of the disease, but will try our best to get her through the system. If you have any questions or concerns about our recommendation, ...

Mary Maluccio, MD
IU Liver Oncology Prog
IU School of Med

I think that says it all. I'm in line to get tested to do the transplant...the boys are supportive and I am excited. Can you imagine? When I found out I had cancer, I didn't say 'Why me?'...i said 'why not me?' When it comes to miracles, 'Why not me??'

Pray for me, please.

Love,
Lenette

Wednesday August 5th

My computer has been broken down for days now so I haven't been able to enter a blog, but thank goodness, it's fixed so I can update everyone.

The last couple of days, I slept through. I also couldn't form a sentence. Holly called and "forced" me to seek treatment. She wanted me to go the ER, but when I called the "on call" for the pain clinic, they had me come in at 9:00 a.m. to check. David was up most of the night so he helped me in and out of bed -- very helpful.

The next day I went in and they reduced my morphine in my pain pump and within a day, I was able to stay awake and form complete sentences. The bad part is, my stomach hurts a lot and I have to get used to life without pain. I guess it will help me prepare for the transplant pain.

Tuesday

have not heard from the docs in Indy yet regarding testing they're setting up. It could take a bit because they're trying to coordinate multiple tests on the same day.

Have been spending time setting up some type of routine and schedule again -- the newest normal. My in-home therapy will end soon so I have to be able to do more for myself. Also, David can move back to Indy as soon as 8/1 even though he won't start school yet. It will give him a chance to find a job before all of the other students start to move back.

We are registering Cody for school tomorrow. he is looking forward to returning to school; he loves to keep busy with friends. He took a class over the summer and improved his GPA. Plus, he moved from 21 in the class to 19 in the class (or something close).

Tommy and some teammates were at open gym this afternoon when he went up to shoot. His teammate grabbed and ripped his bicep tendon. Tom will have an MRI tomorrow and then they'll figure out what to do. The season starts in November. Tommy said one of the football players did the same thing and was out for 5 months. The injury happened on his shooting arm.

Susan Richter, long time friend from the Museum Guild, called the other day and told me that a friend of her sons broke his neck diving in his pool. All of the boys were good swimmers from the Delta team while they were in H.S. I believe his name is Timmy Patterson. His Mom, Margie, cycles and hangs out with Susan. When I go through a hard day, or get down about being in this situation, I think about Timmy and imagine how hard his therapy must be. Please pray for him and make him strong. Please do for him what you have done and continue to do for me.

Dr. Spahr appointment here in Muncie. He is giving me a shot periodically to increae my red blood cells so I will have more energy.

If anyone wants to help with a some filing that I have, I could use another. I would tell you what folder to locate item and you would put it in the existing file or create a new file. Call me if you want to help.

Love you all,
Lennet.

Meeting the Transplant Surgeon

Good thing the sun was shining. We both overslept, but had allowed enough time to make it down there anyway. CT SCan went well at 9:15 and then we went to meet Dr. Maluccio (the one we met last time) at 11:30. She poked her head in and told us she would page Dr. Vianni (the transplant surgeon). about 2 or 3 hours later, Dr. Vianna appeared along with 2 other doctors (interns, perhaps?) and said he had not yet looked at the scan from this a.m.; he had been in surgery for the last 2 days. We talked about my condition and what shape my liver was currently in. He said he would not even be able to get me on the list if I wasn't able to live longer and much stronger/better after the surgery. the surgery itself is the hardest thing the body would go through. 85% success rate. He's never lost anyone on the table, but one really, really sick guy only lived 4 months and they won't do the surgery to only get 4 months. I asked how this surgery compares with the Wipple Procedure that I had done in December of 1995 and he said this one is 100 times harder.

Next step is to bring me in for a full day or two and do whole days full of tests to make sure my heart and lungs are strong enough to do the surgery. I continue to remain optimistic. The vein has some blockage, but he thinks he can work on it. The good news is I'm still in the running. If I decide, when we're all done with testing, that it's too much, I can always change my mind.

I tried to wing it,but had to take pain bills to get through the day so I keep falling asleep trying to write this. I can't proof it for very long so I'm sure there are misspellingss and confusing areas...thanks for being patient!

We didn't get the info today that I thought we would, but we got plenty of new information that will take me a while to ponder. There are things i will continue to need as we move through these next steps. The best way to find out what you can do or how you can help is just to ask me. Thanks for everything you've already done and continue to do. Be well. I love you all. I am sooooo lucky to have such a huge support group. Please continue to pray -- for strength for me as I move through these difficult times, as I am tested and as I am faced with new decisions. Pray that God will show me the right answers.

Love,
Lenette


[

Meeting the Transpka]]]

Good Day

It was a good day! I have new complications and once again, a new normal, but I seem to be moving through it OK. I have extreme seeping and bleeding on my legs so out of nowhere, a very small area on my legs will just run blood -- what a mess. Yesterday, I bandaged most areas with gauze, but then I taped the bandages on and when I had to take the tape off, it created new rough areas. The nurse said I should get these net-type things to wrap around my legs so I can keep the gauze in place. OK, that's not the good part.
I went for my first outpatient parocentisis (sp?) and they drained 5 liters off. They only like to do 4 because it messes with your kidneys and blood pressure and really messes with the fluid in your system, but it kept running until 5 and then just quit so we stopped also. We'll keep it at 5 and call it a day. There's a woman named Jill who does it and that's what she does all day. She's really bubbly and has her hair in a pony tail and is always smiling. I just love people like that -- makes you want to work with her. Then, I waited 1/2 hour, Mary Foster picked me up and off I went, 12 1/2 lbs. lighter!! I wish dieting was was that easy@

And...when I got home...Tommy was there. He got home yesterday and since Tom is out of town with Zachary, he is spending time with us. He and Dave went for a bike ride last night on the Greenway. Today, we all hung out and just chilled together. Can't tell you how nice it is to walk in my house and see all 3 boys there. Priceless!

Tomorrow my cousin, Debbie Doucet, is coming over. She called tonight. She is at a hotel from Chicago and will be driving over around 10:00 tomorrow morning just so we can visit all day. I haven't seen her in years.

Then, on FRiday, we go back to IU Med Center. The CT Scan is scheduled for 10:00 a.m., the meeting with Dr. Maluccio and Dr. Rodrigoo Vianni is scheduled for 12:00.
I know many, many of you are praying and I know God is listening. I know God is lislining.

Thanks for Chris Jenkins, Maureen Mann and Nancy Barry for the Lou Malnati's. I will share with Chris and Cathy...oh yes, and the boys. It's always great to get a taste of home. Reminds me of the marching days.


Love to all,
Lenny, Lenette, Len

p.s. My router has been down so I could not blog.
Oh, and did I write that I was in the hospital Friday and they picked me up there?

Friday update

Woke up at 5:30 a.m. with KILLER PAIN. I could hardly move it hurt so bad. This time it was in the left of my abdomen versus my right side so I had no idea why it was hurting. Of course David, my lifesaver, happened to be just headed to bed so I texted him and he helped me up from bed. Then I fretted and rocked in pain until I figured out who to call. Dr. Adrian was not on call so Dr. Lloyd told me I needed to head to the ER. Considering the amount of pain I was in, and I had already taken a pain pill and used my pain pump, I figured he was right so we piled in the van for a trip to Ball Hospital AGAIN.

They took a blood test, xrays, etc, etc. and gave me pain drugs intravenously.
Then they moved me to ER Observation and "watched" me until Saturday at about 4:30 p.m. when I headed home. Doc said the worst that could happen was that I came back to the ER again. Boy, I sure hope not. ER Observation is a very strange place to be; they hardly communicate with you at all so you really don't know what is going on, what "the plan" is, etc. And I LOVE a plan.

I'm finally home again - still in horrendous pain, but trying to stay ahead of it by taking my pain pills on time or even a little bit early. Katherine and Bob are here from Chicago. Bob is making a platform for my lazy boy chair which we moved from the Depot to my back porch, and Katherine is making me a feast with fresh fish and raspberry sauce, corn on the ccb, fresh peaches and blueberries from the farmer's market and a appetizer with flat bread and fresh mozarella plus other oils and spices. Hungry yet? Notice no matter what happen, I always have room for food.

Prayers that I'll be able to travel to the transplant appointment.

love to all,
Len

Good News from IU

Today I received a call from Dr. Maluccio's office scheduling an appt for Friday, july 24th at 9:30. I will have a dual phase CT scan which shows the blood flow into the liver and then meet with Dr. Maluccio and Dr. Vianni, the surgeon who would actually do the transplant. This is great news because it means we are moving ahead in the direction of the transplant instead of them stopping and saying the transplant is not even possible.

WE ARE GOING TO TAKE ONE APPOINTMENT AT A TIME JUST AS WE'VE TACKLED ONE BATTLE AT A TIME WITH THE CANCER. I do not want to waste energy worrying about something that I cannot control or change. So, please practice being patient with me and we'll walk this walk together.

For those of you who are praying, and I know there are millions of you, this week we are praying that Friday we will receive good news...that the doctors will look at the CT Scan and will see good blood flow from the liver and that they can do the transplant. Then, Dr. Maluccio will get me on the tranplant list and off we go!

God answers prayers...so keep them coming.

Lenette

No News is Good News

Right? I didn't hear from Dr. Marruccio today. I had thought I might. I did get a visit from Pam Gillum who is here from Florida for a short visit. I also had an occupational therapist stop in to see what modifications I needed on the house to make it safer. Then, the "shower girl" (that's what they call her) came over and helped wash my back, moisturize my lower legs, etc. I finally got my bills mailed and filed a few things so I'm feeling like I know where things are again.

My legs are really stretched today and redder than they've been so I'm going to make this a short blog tonight. Kathy and Bob are coming in from Chicago on Friday afternoon. They're bringing us all kinds of treats from Chicago. Can't wait!!!

Love to all. Thanks for all the prayers.
Len

Visitors Welcome

You're more than welcome to come visit, although it's always best to call first so that I get to talk to everyone. I'm having a nurse, physical therapist and bath aid for the next month so that takes time on certain days, but it sure is nice to have help and not have to ask the boys. Marlene and Brian came to see me on Thursday -- gosh I miss them!!! They're here for Endurathon, but Brian now lives in North Carolina and Marlene lives in Champaign-Urbana. Today, my Uncle George and his wife, Sher, came over and brought my Mom. They are from Arizona and came to Decatur, Indiana for an overhaul on their motor home. They'll be here a few weeks, but this is probably the only time we'll see them. They have a rally next week with almost 100 motor homes. Then they're off to Canada, over to Maine and throughout the northeast. Cool life. They've had the motor home for 13 years and travel most of the year around the U.S. And then there are my friends who stop by all the time -- and bring food and help clean and go grocery shopping. Feel free to just come over and TALK. I'm trying to learn to listen more and talk less. I promise!!

We are keeping up with house cleaning, even though my standards are lower than they used to be. I still KNOW that the dishes will wait... while kids grow up and friendships are strengthened and connections to family remain strong.

And, oh, take runnning with the bulls in Spain off my bucket list. Some guy got rammed and killed by a bull. No fun! My brother, Danny, is very excited about the transplant. He wants to take me hang gliding in the worst way. Imagine the sounds of a chicken clucking...that would be MEEEEEE!

Keep in touch.
Lenette

Friday 7/10 Update

For the first year since 1988, I am missing the Muncie Endurathon this year. Cody is making some money today by helping vendors set up at the Expo. Today is registration and a sports expo where you can get some good deals on shoes, bike shorts, bike parts, etc. I started my run with Endurathon when I was pregnant with Tommy, handing out water and directing the athletes. Since then, I was Volunteer Coordinator for many years -- even managed 5,000 volunteers during the World Championships we hosted in 1996. Tom served as race director in the early nineties and I served as race director in 1998 and 1999. Two and three years ago I managed registration and last year I just hung out with Marlene and handed out plaques. It's a great time to catch up with the committee. My doctor, Dr. Adrian, has been involved just as long -- we've all raised our children volunteering so when I received an abnormal pancreas test, and didn't have a doctor, I went to Dr. Adrian and asked him what I should do. He took me on as a patient and had to be the one to show me the scan and tell me I had cancer. I still remain a Board Member, but I think it's just because no one wants to hurt my feelings.

I haven't heard from Dr. Marruccio yet. She is the liver surgeon we met with last Tuesday. She said she would call in a few days so I didn't expect to hear from her until next week, but I had hoped.

I've been doing well at home, but it takes me FOREVER to do basic needs -- getting dressed, moisturizing constantly so my skin doesn't break down, etc. so my day is definitely full. It's taken me 3 days to balance my checkbook and begin to pay bills (tomorrow yet) and I haven't opened my book since I've been home.

Thank You

How do I BEGIN to say thank you for all of the support, prayers, love, meals, shopping, care, hugs, tears, friendship, time and love? Thank you for accompanying me on this journey and for making the ride easier. I love you all and feel so humbled by all of the blessings I am receiving.

With all my love,
Lenette

Last night, I slept better than I've slept in months. Peace.

Correct Blog Address

correct blog address is lenettespage.blogspot.com

If you're using the other one (where you sign in as Angie), just start using the one above instead.

Miracles Do Happen

...and prayers are answered. We met with the Oncologist at 12:00, but didn't meet with the liver surgeon until 3:45. Couldn't update until now because of no signal. The "Reader's Digest" version is...they will begin running tests to see if all is in place to do a multi-organ transplant(stomach, liver, pancreas, intensine), rather than doing just the liver. Their approach is that there's no sense in just replacing the liver if there is still cancer left in other parts of the body or problems that will crop up later on. So, the next step is to do another scan to see if a certain vein is open and available for the transplant and then meet with the doctor who will actually do the transplant. If the vein is not available, that doesn't mean it's a STOP sign, it means the doctor will have to look at another way to work with or work around that vein.

I know it's all confusing. I am OVERWHELMED to say the least. And afraid to be too trusting, because it's too good to be true, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. But the doctor said, "no, we are hopeful. this looks good. We're moving forward." She will call in a few days when she knows more.

On our way to Indy...

I finished physical therapy today. Still pretty weak, but have a group of exercises I can do at home to build on. Will have to just keep at it.
They removed 4.7 liters of fluid first thing this morning. Usually they will only take 4 liters, but this doctor said to get 5 as long as my blood pressure didn't drop too much. My breathing immediately felt better and I could watch my stomach go down. My walking is a little bit easier without that much fluid. Whew! Dr. Adrian is going to set it up so that I can do these fluid drains outpatient from now on. The nurse said that some people come in as often as once a week to get drained so that's more promising for me -- knowing I can get drained without time in the hospital. And it only takes a couple of hours.
I have so many mixed feelings about tomorrow. I got to some low, scary moments this weekend and I don't hang out in those places very well. So today I worked all day on getting to my happy, positive place tomorrow so that I can take whatever news I receive and not fall apart.
Pastor Elaina came and brought me communion and we prayed together. Mostly we prayed that I would qualify for a transplant, but if I don't, that God shows me a different direction. I know all of you are praying for me and I thank you. Please pray for Melodee also as she hears the news - help us to remember everything they say (we're taping it)and help us to deal with the news, whether good or bad.

I will probably not be making phone calls tomorrow because there are too many people to call. Mel or I will try to post after the appointment as soon as we can. Then, I GO HOME!!! after two weeks and for the first time, I will not have to work. I can focus on myself, my boys, relaxing, and summer sunshine. I am so looking forward to sitting on my back porch and just hanging out.
While here, I have made arrangements for a visiting nurse service to come to the house and help me with various things that I can't do for myself. And I have the info about Careline (I've fallen and I can't get up)so I don't end up on the floor with no one home and have no one to help me get up. These arrangements will relieve me quite a bit so I will have to rely on the boys less.
I will let you know if meals or anything else is needed. many of you have offered and when the need is there, I will let you know.
Thanks for helping me stay positive. I will need that positive attitude as I move forward down this path called life.

Love to all,
Lenette

Saturday afternoon

VISITORS WELCOME ON SUNDAY

For the first day since I've been here, I should have a quiet day wiht no therapy or procedures, etc. so feel free to come by and catch up.

I am scheduled to be released on Tuesday morning in time to make a 12:00 appt at IU to discuss possibilities of a liver transplant. Melodee will take me unless I need a different vehicle, and if I do, Dr. Adrian will arrange for it.

On Monday, I will do some physical therapy and then a periocentisis(sp?) to do another drain on my fluid and squeeze me out before I go home. I started to take on fluid again a couple of days ago and my legs are stretched to max plus red. My abdomen is HUGE again so it seems like within 2 weeks I refill again and am so big I can only waddle. And the fluid presses my organs all together so it makes it hard to breathe. And I've lost soooooooo much strength.

I love you all. Your strength and God's love gives me the ability to get through everyday.

Lenette

July 3rd/4th

Happy Independence Day !!! ...which is what I'm looking forward to ... independence.
Spent most of the last two days either in rehab (physical, occupational, etc.) just trying to gain strength. Walking, up ramps, down ramps, leg lifts, balance exercies, bicycles for endurance, etc. Met with case manager and it looks like if I take advantage of home health care upon discharge, it will be covered by insurance so we'll line up a plan on Monday. Also am getting a careline necklace ("I've fallen and I can't get up) in case I fall again and the reds are not around or I don't have my cell on me.
Cody brought Grandma to see me today so it was nice to see Mom again afer a couple of weeks.
Tommy is in with another team member for the weekend so I saw him last night (Thursday). He even snuggled in my bed with me (OK, he laid next to me in bed, but that means snuggling when you are his age.

love to all,
Lenette




]]]]

1st Day in Rehab

We worked in rehab today. Morning was spent doing evaluation of where I was, what I could do. Everyone eats lunch together down in separate lunchroom. Afternoon spent one hour just doing repetitive movements, strengthening arm muscles, leg muscles, etc. It was hard because we worked on pushing myself up from wheelchair and it's really hard for me to do that. I did five repititions and by the end, I was really tired, but felt good that I was making progress. Tomorrow I'm sure we will do more repitions. While we add more reps, I will get more independent and that's what I went to rehab. The boys are fine with me being gone; they want me to be strong and independent. Gosh, they are great kids!!!
My friend, Jill, is in from Kansas City today through early Saturday. She will bring my Mom to visit tomorrow evening and sit with me.
On Friday, Holly & Zach are coning to visit either in the evening or during my therapy sessions. Either way is is fine with me.
Love to all. I will continue to pray...please do the same.
Love,
Le

Rough Day

Tuesday was a rough day. It started at 7 a.m. with my falling down in my room. I had been up tidying, just wiping down the tray table. I backed up my leg to move away from the wall and stepped on the pole that holds my meds. I lost my footing and no matter how I stepped, I couldn't get my balance. So down I went on my butt...hitting my head and bouncing off the floor. The good part is, I landed right next to the nurse call button. So I pressed the call button and said, "I've fallen and can't get up." No fewer than seven nurses came in, including a big burly male nurse, who helped me up. It was a terrible way to the start day. It got everyone frazzled. But I did learn that my insurance appproved my moving to the rehab floor. So around 4 o'clock, I moved to the fourth floor. I'm now in Room
4205. After my evaluation last night, they estimate that I'll be in rehab for 7 to 10 days. Unfortunately, this is a lot longer than I had anticipated. Overall, yesterday was just an emotional day. I was emotional. I moved out of my comfort zone in oncology. I'm now shairing a room that is less convenient and private. And I have new nurses. But I met a great new nurse who is native of Chicago. She grew up around Wrigley Field. Her name is Lisa. My schedule now is that I will do rehab in the a.m with another session in the afternoon. Visitors are welcome to come and go to rehab with me if they want. If not, I'm done by 4 p.m. each day, and visitors are welcome to visit any day following rehab.

Da-da Monday, Monday (isn't that a song?)

OK, it's not Michael Jackson...in fact, I think it's by the MaMa's and the Papa's. Do you know that Michael and I are both the same age? And yet, he looked so much younger! Maybe it was the makeup.

I officially talked with my board president and all is set to stay home and take care of myself. I am so grateful I can't stop crying. I am so lucky!!

Rehabilitation stopped by today. They are trying to make sure my insurance will cover me to work 4 hours a day on getting my strength back. If the insurance won't cover the rehab at that level, there are lesser levels they can try so one way or the other, i should be able to stay and build myself up. That way when I get home, I'll be self-sufficient.

I got a good night sleep last night and that makes all the difference. I was stronger today. I still only got about 6 hours total, but there were more uninterrupted periods of time.

I'm happy today. I still have many challenges to overcome, but I have had a lot of 'wonderful' during the last day or two.

Love you all, and thank you for sharing your gifts.

Lenette

Liver Transplant Anyone? (continued)

Sorry...I screwed something up and couldn't edit the last one or complete it...

I have been so worried and stressed about making sure that the Greenway was running well and making sure grant deadlines were met and that I stayed in the loop with everything and that I was working hard enough that I was constantly stressed and doing a bad job of juggling. I knew I had to be responsible for bringing home a paycheck and keeping my health insurance. When I went to the hospital on Tuesday and two doctors told me that I could have easily bled to death had I not made it there when I did, I called work and told them I would not be working the rest of the week. Guilty as I felt, I knew I had to put me at the top of the list and get well. And when my Board heard that I was back in the hospital, they said the same thing...before they even knew what I was thinking. I need to take care of me and my health so that I could get strong, go through a successful transplant and come back to work again.
And we definitely have the team to run the Greenway. They are so supportive and work so hard that I feel very comfortable leaving it all in their hands. And they each really care about and support me. It is so wonderful to work with people who truly care about me. And, of course, I can't say enough about having management that is so human and caring that they are making sure I come first and knowing and trusting that this is the proper course of action. Not just a job!!!
To say that I'm feeling hopeful and optimistic is an understatement. But you all should know that the transplant is not a done deal. I have not even met for the first consultation yet. It could turn out that I am not a candidate, but that's not the impression that I got...the doctors in Indy reviewed the pet scan with a group of multi-specialty doctors there and said that it looks like I would qualify.
Please pray that the transplant is a go...and that I'm strong enough to sail through the procedure...and that the new liver will be compatible...and that I will live to rock my grandbabies to sleep. God is guiding my ship and He knows that I'm not done here. I love you all for your support and the strength it gives me.

Peace,
Lenette

Liver Transplant Anyone?

Dr. G just left the room. He's the doctor that did the procedure on my esophagus the other day. He asked about the appointment regarding the liver transplant and I told him we'd have to reschedule since we missed the appt on Tuesday. He mentioned that I have the same cancer as Steve Jobs from Apple Computer and I told him . Steve Jobs had a transplant two months ago and is doing fine. But catch this -- there's an 85% success rate with liver transplants!!! How great is that! And livers are not as difficult to match as kidneys. Also, there are more kidneys available in Kentucky than most states, but Indiana has a fair amount also. Great news, huh?
AND THEN...more good news. The wonderful, caring, loving people who I work for believe it is in my best interest to go on leave and take care of my health so I am officially grounded until further notice. This will give me the time and energy to work on getting/staying well, to make my body and mind strong enough to get through the transplant and to spend time with my boys, family and friends and enjoy life, rather than stress through it.

Saturday Morning

Good morning! It's 4:45 a.m. Are you up yet? Well, you know hospital living...I'm up! Cody participated in relay for life all night so I got to participate via text messaging...the next best thing to being there. Missed him, though. We always have fun at that event...staying up all night, eating junk food and raising money for cancer research. The bad thing (if you can call it that) is that the monies go toward American Cancer Society which does fund cancer research nationally, but there is not a local presence here. Instead, I have benefited greatly from Little Red Door - Cancer Research of Delaware County, and they've given me many free items - my leather lift chair, a raised toilet seat, free Carnation Instant Breakfast packets (to add protein to my diet) and other things that I would otherwise have to pay for. Great organization and they have many more items that could benefit me down the road. So, if you're looking for an organization to make a donation, please check them out.

I also talked to the nurse this morning and she said there's something in the chart from the doc that says I might get to move to one of the other floors on Monday or Tuesday so I can extend my stay and continue to build my strength. That's an answer to prayers right now. I need to be able to function on my own at home. The added strength would keep me in the fight. Then we get a new appt in Indy to discuss the transplant option and move on from there. HOPE again and FAITH that God will provide a new liver.

Never thought I'd like liver. Tracey loves liver...usually with bacon. But I never really liked the taste. Now it's looking like liver is my most favorite organ!!

Breakfast is still pretty far away. I've lost a lot of things from cancer, but NOT my appetite! Right now,I'm thinking of a veggie oomelet with peppers, onions, mushrooms and mozarella cheese across the top. Mmmmm Mmmmmm Sooooooooo good! Oh, yeah, and shredded hash browns with sausage on the side, OJ, maybe a little hot tea. or..blueberry crepes from Eva's Pancake House along with bacon or sausage. Or later for lunch, a nice BLT sandwish with nice, hot french fries (bad for the diet). Can you tell I'm hungry??? LOL at myself!!

I'll sign off for now. As you can tell, my spirits are soaring again this morning. I've got a lot of life left in me. "And I will not go gently into that good night..."

Love you all,
Lenette

p.s. David mentioned last night that they have a wall of dishes piling up on the sink...plus a few days of laundry. I know the boys will clean and get it done before I get home, but it sure would make their lives easier if they had some help. In fact, if any of you enjoys cleaning, the whole house could use a good once-over from dusting to vaccuuming, washing floors, etc. I know it's a lot to ask, but we all know how good it feels to live in a clean house. Please don't feel obligated, but I know quite a few of you have asked how to help the boys. And some of you have even mentioned that you like cleaning!!

David's email is davethemullet@gmail.com and cody's is crazycody@gmail.com. You can set it up with them.

Weekend Visitors

I'll write more tomorrow, but I wanted to invite anyone to come visit over the weekend if you're so inclined. I will continue in the hospital until Sunday or Monday. then,we're going to try to drain more fluid before I come home. At this point, I can't get out of bed by myself so I'm not sure how i can go home. One day at a time.

Hello to All

Hello to everyone and thank you for your love and prayers. They really do strengthen my day. What a day in the news -- Farah Fawcett this morning and then Michael Jackson in the afternoon. No matter what we thought of each of them, each had their individual lives with all of the challenges that we each face here on Earth. We cannot know their journey so let's not judge their choices.

I didn't realize how serious my "episode" was until I had a couple of doctors tell me how close I had come to bleeding out. Realizing that my life could have ended that quickly is pretty profound. I remain so aware of each of my days as I travel this road and I ask you to remember that this could easily be your life also. Seize the day. There are no do-overs. Don't waste time on trivial things. BE PRESENT TO THE MOMENT and make each moment count. I question how well I really do that versus just talking about it...

And how 'bout my new poster boy -- Steve Jobs!! I'm planning to follow in his footsteps and make the transplant a reality. Not sure why we were detoured, but we'll get to Indy and make this a reality!!!! He has the exact kind of cancer that I have and his liver transplant is progressing well.

I love all of you. I thank you for providing such a strong support system. I thank God for your gifts and your willingness to share them with me and my boys.

Not sure when I'll go home. I don't have enough energy to get out of bed or get up from a chair yet. Nurse says my electrolytes could cause that...or too much potassium in my system today, etc. I'll ask the Doc more tomorrow.

I'm going to rest now. You are welcome to check in tomorrow, but if I don't answer, it just means I'm trying to rest, sleep, read. I know you are -- you've shown me that ten times over.

Be well,
Lenette

update

Lenette underwent the periocentisis procedure this morning and they drained quite a bit of fluid. She is doing fine and eager to sleep and rest today.

David spent the night in the hospital last night as well. His asthma was giving him fits so they wanted him to be monitored. He is home and taking it easy. He has his cell, laptop, and TV; so he pretty much has all he needs! :)

Len is very thankful for all your thoughts and prayers. Please keep it up. This is what she needs right now. PLease know that what you are doing is enough! It may not seem like it for now, but it truly is.

Melodee

a new day

Well, after a scary day like yesterday, today may seem like a walk in the park. Lenette is recovering nicely still in ICU. She will be moved to oncology today as soon as a bed opens up.

Dr. Adrian says there is no reason to think that the ruptured vein episode will happen again, but he did give her some things to watch for. The biggest thing is that Lenette knows her body and she knew when to ask for help. She is a very smart lady!

Cody spent the night with her and David is at the hospital now. The boys are doing a great job keeping her company!

Dr. Adrian says that today is a day of rest, get her transferred to oncology and then tomorrow she will have the periocentisis (removal of the fluid from her her belly).

Please continue to lift Lenette in prayer today as I know you all are. Specifically, pray that they can get on top of the pain that she is in. She can handle so very much, but the pain really gets her down. Also pray that her esophagus will heal adequately and that no more ruptures will occur. Please pray for David as he is struggling with his asthma; this is always a concern for Lenette.
And pray that peace will surround her today so that she will be completely rested for tomorrows procedure. And thanksgiving to our wonderful God for putting Lenette in the right place at the right time yesterday. That previously scheduled trip to Indy might have proven fatal had we been on the road. I continue to be amazed at His ultimate wisdom!!

Lenette asks that she have no visitors today and that phone calls be saved for another day. She knows that you are all out there praying and lifting her up; that is the best thing we can do for her today. She is where she needs to be.

Melodee

change of plan on June 23, 2009

This is Melodee. I am updating for Lenette. She was up in the night...so much pain and no rest. She was nauseous all night and unable to keep anything down. We called Dr. Adrian early this morning and he sent her to the hospital. She is so disappointed that she couldn't make it to Indy for her appointment,but she was very ready to be at Ball where she is taken care of and monitored. She had a procedure in which it was discovered that she had developed varicose veins in her esophagus. These had ruptured and were bleeding. The doctor repaired this with bands. Because of this procedure she has been admitted to ICU. She said she wanted to experience the new "South Tower" so this was the ticket!! She is to be transferred to oncology tomorrow.
David has been here all day which is so comforting for Lenette and Cody will be with her tonight. Truly that is her best medicine!

We will follow up on the transplant appointment when she is able to travel. God has a plan and she is trusting in that promise.

I think the best thing for Len right now is rest. If you could just trust for now and pray...that will be the greatest gift you can give her at this time. Feel free to check the blog for updates.

optimism and hope

We had refocused our approach to getting rid of the fluid. We are attempting to direct it toward the lymph nodes and take it out that way so ever since last Friday, I've been doing a series of massages, compression stockings and deep breathing. I was gung ho! Thoroughly believed. Hope was back. I had a new direction. Wahoo!!!

So I worked hard this week, making sure I did everything religiously, faithfully. And I prayed like crazy and asked for God's help. And on Friday, I called physical therapy to ask if I should be seeing some change/movement. Rather, I had gained a little bit of weight and was struggling to breathe everyday, with my organs pushing against each other and no comfortable position to be in. I now weigh what I did when I delivered my 3 boys and really look like I'm 9 months pregnant. Becky said no, I should be seeing progress by now and it looked like my liver was so shot that this wasn't working now either.

I was so disappointed and I think I'm still in denial because I feel like that was my last chance. No more tricks up our sleeves. So I keep massaging and breathing and eating protein and drinking protein drinks and trying to coax my body to absorb the protein.

On Tuesday, I go to IU Med Ctr to meet with my previous oncologist and another surgeon to talk about whether or not a liver transplant is even an option. At first, I wasn't sure I had it in me to go through something that big...and my body may not be...but right now it's all I have so I'm going to listen and learn and see what we can do to make it happen.

And every Thursday now, I go to Ball Hospital to get a Procrit shot that will help my body produce more red blood cells. That will give me more energy.

I'm continuing to pray, to stay positive and to see friends. You give me strength...you help me get chores done so I don't worry about them or try to overdo it. You make me laugh and you spend time just sharing your life with me.

Please pray with me...stay positive with me...and make me laugh. Be well and take care of yourself.

Lenette

Did I Scare You?

I got quite a few calls after my last blog. So sorry. I didn't mean to scare you guys; I just needed a place to vent / share / feel / cry. Cody and I had a heartfelt talk last night and he apologized for leaving me alone. I told him how scared I was all of a sudden and how that was a change for now and he understood. He crawled onto the bed with me and we just hugged for a long time (for a 17 year old). I hate to cry in front of them, but I couldn't help it and it helped him understand where I was.

The reds have been SO GOOD about caring for me and doing things for me multiple times everyday that I am so lucky!! So please don't say anything to them. They take my cues...and sometimes I don't even know how I feel until I get down in the mud and FEEL it.

Keep those prayers coming. And special thanks to Pastor Alaina Salmon and Pastor James Hilleson. They have prayed and prayed and prayed with me and their words have brought comfort and peace to me and kept God close by my side.

Lenette

Good Will Hunting

"The bad things in life remind us of the good things we have not been paying attention to."
Good Will Hunting


I know many of you worried about me last week when I went to the hospital again. But now that I'm out, I see the difference between the hospital and home. the hospital provides a sanctuary where I can be taken care 24 hours a day. There is always a nurse to help me do this or that...and she/he is always eager to do whatever I need done. When I wake up in the middle of the night, there is someone there to talk to, even to listen to my dreams. One night, I was convinced that something had happened and as I told Allison, we both realized I had dreamt it. She was like a mother putting a small child back to sleep in the way she made me feel unrushed and waited "I'm not going anywhere" until I was done.

Last night, David stayed in Goshen with a friend. Cody stayed with his friend. I was going to be alone from 6 p.m. until this morning...and inside, I was terrified. Not that I've ever woken the boys in the night, not that I was afraid I would fall or anything, I was just afraid. I'm afraid to be so sick that I can't get out of bed to use the bathroom. I'm afraid of being a burden to ANYONE. I'm afraid to live like this, but I'm more afraid that I will linger in pain for too long.

When all is said and done, I am an optimist and I try to be present in the moment. I'm trying not to worry about yesterday or fret about tomorrow. But every once in a while, the fear takes over and it's all I can do to hold it together and make it through to the other side.

You should know that Cody did stop in to check on me and see if I needed anything around 10 p.m. I need for him to be 17 and to stay overnight with friends and not be limited taking care of Mom 24/7. And I aaked Melodee to come over early in the evening and she stayed until after 10. She even brought Cherry Garcia ice cream from Ritter's (more on that later). I know if I ask, all of you would come. That's a good feeling for me. But every once in a while, I wish I was 5 years old again, and when I woke up in the night, my Mother would be there to wrap me in her arms and rock me to sleep and assure me that "everything will be fine!"

Thanks for your love and prayers.
Lenette

Going Home!

Going home around 7 or 8 tonight. Even though my weight and fluid is still up there, we've done all we can do here. We have a plan for the new normal. It captures the new ways we have to manage the fluid each day. I weigh what I weighed when I delivered all 3 of my boys - 185. Then I delivered babies that were 10'2",
8'6 1/2" and 9'15". It's not fair that I don't get a cute little guy to take home! But then we all know "Life's ls Not Fair."

I'm ready to be with the boys. thanks to all who sent flowers, visited, and took care of me in one way or another. I may need a little help next week - maybe one meal (just one)
Love to all.
Lenette

Fluid Drained

The highlight of the day was having a CT Scan and using it to find pockets of fluid and then draining over 2 liters of fluid near my liver. They would have and definitely could have drained much more, but my blood pressure was really low (even for me)so that's all they drained. I am able to breathe much better because there is less pressure in that area.

Also, I'm working with Dr. Adrian and Dr. Spahr, Oncologist, and they're coming up with some other alternatives for the fluid issue. So I feel HOPE again...and that's been lacking here lately.

David and Cody were here again today. David took me to the hospital yesterday and Cody came later. And Tommy also came yesterday. What a treat to have all 3 boys in one day!!! Tommy returns to school in a week and a half to take 2 summer classes and workout with the rest of the team. But, one day at a time...they're all here today.

Love to all,
Lenette

In the Hospital Again

You know how much I hate to write those words, but unfortunately, it's true. This afternoon was the first time I saw Dr. Adrian since I checked out of the hospital in early May. There is a long list of things that are going wrong. m0stly,since my liver is not draining properly, it's collecting fluid so I weigh more now than when I gave birth to the boys.

Wednesday - They're going to try to drain some fluid out of my abdomen so that I'll be able to breathe better. First, they have to give me frozen plasma and that takes a while. It actually feels cold going in. Kind of bizarre, but worth it. A lot of things that could go wrong, though, so it might not happen until tomorrow. Last time, they were able to drain two liters off.

I would really appreciate your prayers these next few days, rather than your visits. You can respond to this blog or email me at lenettefr@comcast.net. Dr. Adrian and I are aiming toward a shorter visit this time, rather than the two week visit I had last time. Love to all of you, Lenette

I Hate Pain!!!

Truly, I do. I'm pretty good until there's pain. I'm a positive person. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is pray...I pray for the safety of my 3 boys and then I thank God for everything He's given me. But more and more each day, I am experiencing this severe pain. Today it is making me ache -- my stomach is SO LARGE that I look like I'm pregnant with twins. When I delivered each of the boys, I weighed 185 lbs. Yesterday, I weighed 186. All my organs are pushing against each other and my skin is stetched so tight that it hurts to move. I've just taken some pain meds which means I won't be able to work for a while, but I'm not very productive right now anyway.

I'm waiting to hear back from Dr. Adrian with answers to a series of questions. I don't want to go back to the hospital. I'm willing to fight this at home if I can since there's not a whole lot more they can do for me in there.

Please pray that my pain will go away and that I will find a way to cope with this hurdle. I love you all and appreciate your friendship and prayers.
Lenette

I Hate Pain!!!